Okay.Whew.I started it.Aherm...And now I'm having the trouble with thinking of how and where to start (classic, I never got rid of that problem xD)Soo.... let me start on something!
This entry includes a gist of what happened while Poppy was away fo years (cuz... I used to release a journal every week of what happened/s to me xD)I uhh... hope that this reaches certain people out there who are undergoing something and who are losing hope in something.
The important technical announcements are somewhere at the bottom. A huge "ANNOUNCEMENTS" word is the header, can fly to that if yer itching to read the technical announcements re: SlumberPoppyA lot of you may have migrated to Tumblr or don't even use dA anymore. But I know a lot of you, my watchers and friends, still pass by this place.I think I have to make a formal and official announcement on a few things... well, a LOT of things @_@Remember when I mentioned that I was working on something extremely important and life-changing?Yes, it was something that would determine the course of my life and would definitely control my hobbies and stuff I do as an artist.Here goes *inhales exhales*Guys, I did it.
I have been in review class to pass the Law School Entrance exam in one of the top law schools in my country.Thousands of aspiring law students would take this competitive exam, but the school will only take the top 200 scorers into the school.And.... I just... can't believe I passed it O_OI wasn't expecting to pass it, I wasn't stressing myself out in passing it much either so it was a shock!!!Twas funny too cuz I was in the middle of online gaming til my phone started to blow up with notifications... "CONGRATULATIONS" and I was like... "EHHH????"It's still taking slowly to sink in but well... I've been away from dA and you guys for too long but all these has a history .-.
Let's see... I've been on dA "hiatus' for.... years. My activity was pretty much on and off and I made efforts to come back here and specifically progress on the Beyfantasy.I'll get to the point: for the past few years I've been on a sort of slump/depression/downfall/whatchamaever ya call it.Right now I couldn't elaborate on it because I am as happy as I could be but to give you a picture: I'd wake up in the middle of my sleep and break into tears. @_@ I lost a lot of motivation for anything and everything back then. HikkiNEET mode amg!
I needed time for myself to focus and a bit of privacy sooo I just had to close my doors on most stuff.
................. yeah, so if I wasn't very responsive or inactive.... I was going through...a lot <_>I'm gonna admit to you guys, I haven't drawn for a LOOOOOOOOOONG time.You see my uploads? Those are the ONLY arts I have done over a long span of time O_OWell, in short, when the dark cloud hit me: I didn't wanna do anything... until my friend introduced this wonderful online game to me: Final Fantasy XIV.It was a very good distraction to keep me relaxed and preoccupied with something..... as a gamer... whileputtingotherhobbiesaside.I met very good people there and one special person made me reflect on who I am too.
Well... I got tired.I got tired of being depressed and sad and doing.... nothing.I realized: Just because I felt like I failed at a few things and made a few mistakes and things aren't going the way I want them to be doesn't mean I can't get myself out of this slump.Slowly, I picked up the pace. I decided I wanted to take care of myselfI realized my personality flaws and bad habits... A LOT of them. It was a surprise cuz I never really meant anything bad to anyone... but I guess there were a few things that had to be improved on my character. My parents and my sisters.. they all put up with me when I was going cray in this stage and all (uguu thanks fam)
^I shall confirm this memepic, yes xD
I can say: I evolved ;:^)bThe SlumberPoppy you guys know here in dA for 7 years is my happy self. I really have fun here- talking to other artists and working on the Beyfantasy.I may have been stressed (especially by my academics) but every time I draw or step here or do some Beyfantasy, I just forget everything and have fun!Just recently I have been cleaning up my old files and saw a few old comics and such... basically I saw "SlumberPoppy"- a part of me.
I mean do yall remember this?
Days of Beyblade greedAnd ofc squid-sama
Waow... I suuure had a lot of free time on my hands xD AHAHAHAH!
Seeing my past entries and crazy whimsical posts reminded me of stuff and of happy times with you guys hereI seek to never forget that free spirited side of me despite growing up and no matter how hard life gets for me.dA is precious to me, you guys are precious to me, the Beyfantasy is precious to me. Hey didn't you guys realize, we all grew up together for 7 years xD HAHAHA!Maaaaaaaaaaan!!!This is why I feel the need to write this journal entry too.
You guys are a huge part of my life!SOOOO!!! Right now, I'm in a very VERY great place like..If before I'd break down into tears randomly cuz I was sadRight now, I'd randomly break into tears because I am so freakkin happy!So many things are going so well in my life!!Not to mention, I like myself better right now :0 Like waaaay better!I didn't really notice the changes until people here and there told me like "hey, you look brighter now" or "you know... your attitude changed" or things like that...............Of course I didn't really notice cuz I was focused on just progressing- righting all the things I thought could be better with me.
Feels great-o!And.... wellBecoming a lawyer has always been my dream.When I say "dream"I mean like...Tyson-wanting-to-be-world-champ dreamKai-wanting-to-beat-Tyson dreamAsh-wanting-to-catch-em-all dreamYurio-wanting-to-win-ice-skating dreamWell you get it, sorta like those anime/movies where you have this character who's all like "I wanna become ___" or "I wanna reach that dream" as they stare into the sky xD
Soo yeah... at this moment
I am at MY HAPPIEST HELLYEAAA!!!And before I go to the announcements, I'd like to say something to yallWhen I found out I passed my dream school and realized how much I've changed.. I told myself"I wanna make a billboard and put this!"Well.. I don't have the power at the moment to make an impromptu vandalism or billboard irl HAHAHA But hey, this page IS my billboard ;:^) yay internet!I want to tell you guys...
For everyone who is going through something real bad at the moment.
To all the people who have lost someone or messed up at something.
Those with big regrets or feel that they are too old for something or that it is too late.
Those who hate themselves and think they are useless, hopeless trash with no talents...
Please, do not give up on yourself and do not give up on the world.
So many possibilities and random things can fall on you in life.
Bad or good, fortunate or unfortunate... things will happen.
Keep swimming in life, keep going! Keep holding on!
Take care of yourself, try new stuff!
Things change, people change, situations change.
Not everything will stay, and we might take it as a bad thing too..
but sometimes bad things have to happen for good things to come out of em after!
Just be open about changes in life!
Things will get better eventually.
GO GO GO SHOOT!!! WOW WOW WOW WOW YEAH!!! YEAH!!!I mean.... it's been years and Beyblade came back... right?IMMA SAY IT AGAIN
IF BEYBLADE CAN COME BACK, SO CAN YOUR HOPES AND DREAMS
(It's ongoing btw yaayayayay progress, beyblade and soon we might get an animeee!!!)and right now, I tell myself: if Beyblade can happen and Law school can happen even if I was at my worst... ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN.I find it very ironic that it was during my most relaxed and sorta "contented at peace" state that I was able to pass this exam... I wasn't very confident because my head was at rest from studying for a couple of years too. It was when I learned how to stop and look at what I have and genuinely value them that I got this. I guess the universe/God/some force out there deemed me "truly ready" for this hee hee!
Special thanks to muh fam who believed in me and who gave me a chance to make a solid decision as an adult *n*9 Thanks to a few friends who were always there to listen and chat with a toxic cloud xD Thank you also to those few in dA and twitter (some dark tweets slipped through ahaha!) who sent me their prayers and notes of concern too UwU
But we all know that Law school is pretty much a magical girl contract GYAKAKAKA jus kiddin xD
(sourceinwatermarkbutshemovedsitessosourceisgoogle@_@)*Exhales epicly*Aite... After doing much explanation and pouring all that there and telling yall that message to ignite your SPIRITTTTUUU!!!Let's go with the~
ANNOUNCEMENTS!!!I am on this road to achieving my dream and I'm already on the first step. It's so important to me that I am willing to have to drop or cut out anything that hinders my path to the finish line. Yes, this includes online gaming, and even drawing as often. (Not entirely, but I am someone who gets distracted easily xD) So!!! Given this, I will not be active online or in dA (wow. what a surprise Poppy. wow.) I don't think this will be my "final journal entry" before school starts on August though. But yeah since I will "officially disappear" and have to put a lot of things on hold- including my cosplays, beyfantasy, arts... I'll have to fix stuff... In my remaining months (which... is a very short time left), I have decided to specifically spend time finishing some costumes irl, online gaming and spending time with this special person, and doing art commissions.
BEYFAMILY*hugs yall* This is a very precious group for me and even until now, I get people who send me notes asking if they could join. Even with my exit, the BEYFAMILY WILL NOT STOP!!!I will turn over the account and admin to someone I trust very well here. I know I should've done it waaay back then but I was very preoccupied with irl stuff @_@ But yeah, the avatar family will not die! d yaay!
(oh boi this is where it gets hard)As I mentioned, I have until August to do whatever I want before I sign up to become a magical girl and fall into grief and despair jk xD Given that, I am not sure if I can plug in the Psykicks team or KingQueen ZOGordo within 2 months. Please do not expect any Beyfantasy update though.. unless great, hard inspiration hits me xD But right now, the Beyfantasy will officially be on a solid hiatus!!!
No official announcement, but I want this to happen. I am still a growing girl and am still experiencing a lot of things in life. I'd like to put such feelings and experiences in the Beyfantasy story and characters. I do not want to release the story quick or make it rushed sooo.... this will not happen anytime soon!
My door is currently open for accepting art commissions. I'd like to spend these last days drawing for people. A lot of people have shown interest in commissioning me sooo yeah. I chose to make this part of the things I wanna do before I close the doors to orders or limit em greatly. I may or may not open art commissions in the next 4 years, but when I do- they'll be hella slow and hella limited in slots. At this moment, I have a queueueueueueueue. But I am open to people sending in their requests anytime- I just won't accept/confirm immediately and let em know how far they are in the queue xD So long as they're willing to wait I guess :v
Twitter/InstagramAs you've noticed... they're semi-dead .-. Well, I'll definitely be more "active" over there than in here. So ./shruggles.
And if nobody knowticed, I have some Tumblr with in-game screenies.lagarithm.tumblr.com/
It's pretty quiet in my other accounts though <_>
REPLIES;w;Yes, my inbox is still running at a hundred-something messages... I have yet to reply to.But I reply quick when it comes to notes!! So there's that if you want to reach me!Hmm.......nothing else to announce I guess <_>............................... yeah....well.........................To everyone reading this and to everyone who stuck with me, supported me, and grew up with me here.I thank you from the bottom of my heart Despite walking the path to becoming a lawyer, I am, first and foremost, an artist at heart and dA has been a place that helped me grow and have fun!It's not the end, but I will never forget you guys! There's really not a day that'll pass without me thinking about my friends and watchers here [and I have a folder of all yer giftarts and I reread yer comments too hahaha! Gives me a lotta motivation and fuel in life!]
As I mentioned, I don't think this will be -ze final journal entry befo august/everrrrr-... hopefully I'll have something randomly more fun on top of this entry next time HAHA XD
But yeah, I just wanted to take time to pretty much comprehensively explain my "disappearance into a mythical being" OLOLL
You guys deserve an explanation, (especially after some pretty dark tweets and junk xD)So!!!Goodbye... for now!aaand til next time/entry/decadejk 0_<9
(Errr that's my hairstyle right now so why not xD)